A Sad Day For Me Today

Well then. It’s been a crazy few weeks on this side of the quill!

Between taking on a major renovation project, planning a huge trip back to Yukon – for reasons that will become clear down the road 😉 – and finishing/editing/formatting/publishing the book, I have been flying through my days at breakneck speed!

But here we are, remarkably still in Spring – cold and rainy and unbelievable as that may be – and ….

It’s done.

Yep. I ordered my author’s proof copies yesterday. I won’t get into the pure torture of now having to wait ‘1-3 business’ days to get them, but I will admit that I’m not really good at patience.

What I did want to share, is how incredibly sad I am this morning. I woke up sad. Got up and moving sad. Headed over to the reno at 6am because I was sad and couldn’t get back to sleep. And in the puttering around of touching up an apartment full of fresh paint, I realized why I just feel – sad.

I miss Her.

Her. She. My nameless character.

She’s gone. She’s been in my head and in my heart for almost a year, living there with me, every minute of every day. She’s been a part of me. And I have been a part of her. And now she’s gone. I can’t hear what she’s thinking anymore. I can’t talk to her.

And I feel so empty.

Her story is finished. And I’ve sent her away. And shortly, she will belong to all of you.

The loss for me is profound. I recognize it from my last book, and know that this is part of the process for me. But that doesn’t make it any less real.

So when you do finally meet her, know that I entrust her to you with both excitement for the message she shares, and regret in my not being able to keep her to myself anymore. It is an emotional day for me.

I’m sure I’ll get over it.  But for now, it’s okay to be a little sad.

Alex.

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