A Story Within A Story

EDIT: I get asked for this story – a lot. So I’ve presented it here, by itself, for posterity. (I will now go look up the word ‘posterity.’ In case it doesn’t mean what I think it means. I only used it here because it sounds good…)

A year after my husband died, my family was falling apart. Myself, my five kids, we were each drifting along on our separate paths, disconnected, aloof, and wandering aimlessly. I could see it happening, but couldn’t figure out how to fix it.

It was January, and my Number 2 of 5 started talking about taking the road trip west that he’d started talking about when he was about four years old. He was mulling around the kind of trip he wanted: to take the friend or the girlfriend or the dog, to drive or fly and drive, camp or hotel. Each of the variables would mean a completely different trip. I was familiar with his sense of adventure and recognized his need to reach for something beyond his present world, so I encouraged the conversation with more envy than I’d expected.

Until an idea struck. And anyone who knows me knows how that turns out.

I texted him.

“What do you think about a family road trip, PEI style, out west, this summer?”

We’d thrown the kids and the dog in the van with an hour’s notice a few years before and just drove east through the Atlantic provinces. A whirlwind week with no plan or expectation turned into memories to last a lifetime.

Within a single minute, he replied, “I’m in!”

We spent the next few months deciding on the type of trip, opting for an RV road trip from Hamilton to BC. Maybe a month. All five kids and Nana were on board. Ben and I shopped for an RV, being forced to buy one so he, at age 20, could drive it with insurance, and the trip was begun.

We drove and explored and laughed and cried and fought and learned and made up and connected over the month-long confinement in a 240 square foot tin can. 13,000km. Without actually succeeding in killing each other. (Though there were moments…)

We made it to Watson Lake, Yukon, south to Vancouver, north to Jasper, south to Banff, and east back home. With memories to ignite the light in our new family of six.

In buying the RV, I’d opted to put my husband’s last license plates on it: 7BROWNS. In my mind, taking his Bucket List Trip, we were able to take 7 Browns to Yukon. Watson Lake has this place called the Sign Post Forest. Tourists from all over the world have been leaving signs there for decades, and strolling through the maze of signs and posts is a most interesting way to pass a few hours. But we were heading back home through Saskatchewan when it dawned on me quite suddenly and loudly that I should have left the front plate there. The instant regret was crushing.

Ben was driving at the time. He just looked at me and said, “Well, Mom, you’ll just have to go back…”

Yeah, right.

Fast forward five years, and I’m writing a book. I created a character, gave her my circumstance – made her a widowed mother of five – and hung her out at the end of her rope. She woke up one day with a nasty case of “Fuck It!” and ran away from home.

I hung the map of our trip on the wall and sent her on her way.

As she tells her story, I have no idea where she’s taking it. I am the scribe while she steals emotions and adventures from my memory, while she makes up her own anecdotes. I simply type and watch.

And then she gets to Watson Lake.

She sees a licence plate there. 7BROWNS. And the story takes a turn.

I join my Cracked Pots the next day, exhausted, eyes burning from crying through tears all day the day before. And I tell them, “I think I have a problem.”

“She’s gone to Watson Lake,” I explained. “And she saw my license plate. Except that my license plate’s not there.”

My Cracked Pots eyed me suspiciously.

A week later, and the story has passed the point of no return. It will be a book. And people around the world will read the book. And they will go to Watson Lake and look for 7BROWNS. But it won’t be there.

“I think I have to go to Yukon this summer,” I told them.

They listened skeptically.

A month later I finished the story. The first draft was done, and I was beside myself.

“Okay,” I warned them. “I’m going. I have to take my plate to Watson Lake.”

And what do they do? These amazingly incredibly supportive and loving friends of mine?

“Okay! We’re in!”

Shit! This just got real!

Seriously. If you say you’re going to the ends of the earth, and your friends all jump in and unanimously agree to go with you, like it’s some kind of good idea, you dedicate the book to them.

Alex with 7BROWNS plate
Heading to Watson Lake with a mission!

Then comes the scramble to find a rental RV in Edmonton, put together some kind of loose plan, figure out how to pack and fly these days, figure out an Instagram account, and pray beyond any real hope that we’re still friends when we get back.

7BROWNS plate at Watson Lake

So in the end, people are asking me what’s real and what’s not in the book. That’s my business, and something I’ll mostly keep to myself. But I wanted to share the story of how 7BROWNS and five Cracked Pots made it to the Yukon. Because in my world of Overwhelming Gratitude, that’s a big one.

People Are Talking!

Well. I’m a few weeks into Book Launch mode and the comments and reviews are now coming in. And I couldn’t be more thrilled.

Here’s a few examples:

“Alex, I had to read the first chapter to motivate me to finish the book I’m currently reading. I LOVE IT! You had me at ‘blasé what-the-fuckedness.’ I enjoyed meeting “her” and look forward to what she has in store for me! ~Norma

“Hi Alex. I can’t put A Road To Joy down. I am almost finished it. I have smiled, cried and laughed with almost every page.”

“I felt your pain, your anguish and your fear in your words (because it perfectly described how I too would feel if our roles were reversed) and although you’ve had to carry on without him for a few years now, I wanted to tell you how brave and strong I think you are… Writing this book was the most admirable thing you could do to honour him [Alex’s husband, Paul], and I feel incredibly privileged to have been able to learn of your journey.”

“It has taken me a couple of days to speak to you after reading “A Road to Joy.” …Wow. Double wow!  I have always respected your ability to speak and write with clarity and emotion from the heart, but this novel spoke to my heart completely.  I felt like I was your shadow, experiencing all the heartbreak, angst, grief, questioning, anger, relief, calm, acceptance, joy – the kaleidoscope of feelings was almost overwhelming.   Thank you for being able to so eloquently express your “head space” these past few years.”

It’s getting pretty darned exciting!!

But marketing a book these days is a process, and I’d like to ask for your help….

Bottom line: A writer’s bread and butter is in the reviews.

Ideally, Amazon reviews. (You have to purchase a copy through Amazon to be able to leave a review there.) But also here, at http://ARoadToJoy.com/Reviews

Because word of mouth is everything. For the book to rank at all in the search engines, and within Amazon’s website, it all comes down to the number of reviews. So whether you liked the story a little or a lot, or hated it completely, please take a few minutes to just post a quick comment. As long or short as you want. As kind or ripping as you feel.

But so you know, when it actually comes right down to it, I really just want to know what you thought. And so does everybody else!

Thanks for this! And for telling others about it! And for lending your copy to someone else! And for connecting with me! It’s turning into an amazing journey – I thought The End was the end. Turns out it’s just the beginning!

With Overwhelming Gratitude,

What A Crazy Month!!

So much has happened since we last spoke!

I took a quick trip to Watson Lake in Yukon. My Cracked Pots trusted me enough to tag along, and we had the trip of a lifetime. I couldn’t have asked for a better time, and the support of such incredibly great friends means more to me than even I could describe.

When I was there with my kids five years ago, I didn’t realize until too late that I should have left our license plate at the Sign Post Forest. My co-pilot simply decided that I would have to go back. I remember hmmphing at that, thinking, yeah, right…

My Cracked Pots.
They’ve given me so much, all I could give them was a book.
I love you man!

But then it showed up in the book. And it’s a turning point. It matters.

So I announced to the Cracked Pots that I was going this summer, and they promptly decided that, not only was it a great idea, but that they were coming along. The morning I sat there in a coffee shop, watching the five of us book our plane tickets to Edmonton, was one of the most surreal, emotional, and joyful days of my life. I’m pretty sure that, if there had been a dead body involved, they’d have not been swayed in the least.

7BROWNS finally find their home at the Sign Post Forest in Watson Lake YT

Five of us, in a 250 square foot RV with one tiny little bathroom, 3,800 km from Edmonton to Watson Lake, via Jasper, and back, ten days, and our friendship is cemented for life. I couldn’t be more grateful.

In the end, the plate is now there. Just like in the book. Right next to a horseshoe. With a huge sense of accomplishment, I felt like I’d come full circle and finished something I’d been working on forever, without ever realizing that I was creating something real.

The book is live. It’s really good. High praise considering that I am my toughest critic. Take a read through it. Let me know what you think. I still haven’t had a chance to do a Book Club with it and really dig deep. I’m dying here!! (There’s always someone in the room screaming ‘SPOILERS!!’)

It’s going to be a busy week. I have to move my mom into a new home – she’s been in hospital for weeks now and needs more care than I can manage. The busy of the task is keeping the emotion at bay. There’ll be time for tears and regret and forgiveness later. For now, there’s work to be done.

And the Cracked Pots are hosting a booth at Hamilton’s ArtsFest in Westdale this weekend. Stop by for a visit – check out our pottery and wares. And with any luck, my first shipment of books will be available for sale and signing! Fingers crossed on that count!!!

I’ll try to get in here with more pics and updates as we go, but if you don’t hear from me, you know where to find me. 😉

As much as the busy drives me nuts, it fuels me in ways that I find inspiring and energizing. Shout out if you need me! I’ll be the crazy broad with her hair on fire!

Talk soon,

The Birth Of A Book!!!

It is with profound and overwhelming pride and excitement that I would like to present, at long last,


It’s been two months of me getting in my own way, making things harder than they have to be, and struggling beyond the limits of my very sanity, but I am thrilled with the result!!

I would like to invite you to check it out, buy a copy – either print or e-version on Kindle, take a read through, and please, let me know what you think! Reviews can be left on the Amazon purchase page or here on A Road To Joy’s REVIEWS page. And good, bad, or otherwise, I want to hear from you.

I am beside myself with how this has turned out, and am overwhelmed with gratitude for all of the love and support you’ve shown me through the process. I am actually leaving in an hour, heading for Yukon, for reasons that will become clear as you read. I forgot to do something last time I was there…

I am grateful for all the friends and family who are stepping up to stay with my loved ones while I’m away,  and I look forward to connecting with you all when I get back.

In the meantime, we’ll be posting our travels on Instagram @cracked_pots

You’re welcome to follow along!

And watch for my first official launch and book signing coming up the weekend of June 21-23, 2019 at Hamilton’s ArtsFest.

Thank you again for sticking with me through this most emotional and rewarding journey of mine. I am so very lucky to have you!


A Sad Day For Me Today

Well then. It’s been a crazy few weeks on this side of the quill!

Between taking on a major renovation project, planning a huge trip back to Yukon – for reasons that will become clear down the road 😉 – and finishing/editing/formatting/publishing the book, I have been flying through my days at breakneck speed!

But here we are, remarkably still in Spring – cold and rainy and unbelievable as that may be – and ….

It’s done.

Yep. I ordered my author’s proof copies yesterday. I won’t get into the pure torture of now having to wait ‘1-3 business’ days to get them, but I will admit that I’m not really good at patience.

What I did want to share, is how incredibly sad I am this morning. I woke up sad. Got up and moving sad. Headed over to the reno at 6am because I was sad and couldn’t get back to sleep. And in the puttering around of touching up an apartment full of fresh paint, I realized why I just feel – sad.

I miss Her.

Her. She. My nameless character.

She’s gone. She’s been in my head and in my heart for almost a year, living there with me, every minute of every day. She’s been a part of me. And I have been a part of her. And now she’s gone. I can’t hear what she’s thinking anymore. I can’t talk to her.

And I feel so empty.

Her story is finished. And I’ve sent her away. And shortly, she will belong to all of you.

The loss for me is profound. I recognize it from my last book, and know that this is part of the process for me. But that doesn’t make it any less real.

So when you do finally meet her, know that I entrust her to you with both excitement for the message she shares, and regret in my not being able to keep her to myself anymore. It is an emotional day for me.

I’m sure I’ll get over it.  But for now, it’s okay to be a little sad.